It may be a bit bullish, but I think its mostly right and quite interesting, thoughts?
It may be a bit bullish, but I think its mostly right and quite interesting, thoughts?
Reddit user PoorlyShavedApe wrote this amazing rule. Godwin level? Maybe!!
Major outages that are resolved between two and seven hours tend to be the “hero scenario” where you get a raise or at least some positive recognition.
Under two hours to fix? It should never have happened in the first place..back to your cage (cubicle!
Over seven hours? Why the hell don’t we have the redundancy/magical fairy dust to prevent outages that prevent people from working for the whole day? back you your cage (cubicle)!
Note: it is not redundancy but high availability that most applications and services really need, but that isn’t what you see listed in emails and shouted from the conference rooms. To most management redundancy and high availability are synonyms. I might also be a cynic after my last round of consulting for the Federal Government and DoD…
Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the insane.
Alright, I have some time now to elaborate. So Im driving and see this car on the side of the road. Car crooked, no lights, and some guy standing next to it. I drove past him, but then I thought “That guy needs to turn on his hazards before he gets hit.” I was on my way to a magic convention, so it’s not like I had anywhere to be. I turned around, pulled up behind him and asked what was up. He said he was in a car accident. He then pointed to three teens in the nearby parking lot and said, “We are waiting for the police to come, but they keep bullying me and treating me and making fun of me because I don’t know how to turn on my hazard lights.” So I turned his lights on and told him is stay there until the cops came so the kids wouldn’t mess with him. He then said he forgot his ID at home, and his wife and kid were walking to bring it. He asked if I could go find them and pick them up so someone would be with him and I could leave. So he tells me what street they’re on. Sure enough I see a Mexican woman and a small kid walking. I pull up and say, “Are you Chuey’s wife? He asked me to come get you.” She said, “Me no English.” And starts walking away faster. I then put my car in reverse and started to follow her screaming at her, “CHUEY ASKED ME TO GET YOU. HE WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT. YOU’RE BRINGING HIM HIS LICENSE. HE WANTS ME TO TAKE YOU.” It’s clear no words make sense to her. I’m just some fucking guy screaming at her. I pull out my license and scream, “YOU’RE BRINGING CHUEY HIS LICENSE!” Then I start pointing at it. Then I point at my car and make explosion noises saying “HE WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT! BOOM WHOOSH KABAM!” She doesn’t respond and keeps walking away quickly. So I turned around, go back to Chuey and tell him it didn’t work. He gives me his work ID which has his picture on it, writes a message on my phone, and then I take this picture of him. So I go back to find his wife. I see them, but they are on the other side of the road. I pulled a u-turn and screeched to a stop next to them. I roll down the window and throw the id at her. Then I show her the message on my phone. She says, “Oooooohhhhh Okay okay okay” and gets in. For my own amusement, when they got in and shut the door I said, “You done fucked up now.” Neither of them understood. Now, sometime between picking them up and dropping them off, I realize my phone is missing. Not in my cup holder, not in the door thingy, not in my pockets. I thought I remembered taking the phone back from Grimelda or whatever the fuck that idiots name was, but I wasn’t certain. So I do the fucking pinky and thumb phone thing to her and say, “Phone? My phone? You? Take it?” She pulls out her phone and says “No no this is my phone”. At this point I’m like, “This fucking brown bitch and Mexican Jr here just stole my fucking phone. Is this the most elaborate and hopeful robbery of all time?” Turns out I fell between my seat and console.
Oh yeah, and Chuey was telling me about the accident. It was totally 100% his fault, but he told the story like it was theirs. To paraphrase, broken English removed: “So I’m driving and then all of the sudden they just turn on their brakes and start braking for the red light and I was like ‘what the fuck’ and then I hit the gas by mistake and then I hit them from behind. They were completely stopped so I hit them pretty hard. Then they for out of the car and started yelling and I was like ‘what are you doing stopping at a red light? You should have warned me or something!” No kidding. I thought he was joking at first, but totally serious. The teens were totally right for being pissed.
I’m tired of typing. The story is basically over.
This story made me laugh so hard in the middle of the night that I woke my sleeping wife up.
I wrote this up for a good friend who needs to learn SQL at work, to be a backup to the programmers on site. They’re all developers, and some of them are good developers, but their SQL code sucks. I want my friend to learn the right way. He doesn’t really like to go through books, and was looking for a class, but there aren’t very good classes online from what I can see. Do you know online classes that are instructor led, or at least instructor guided, that aren’t a waste of time? Leave me a comment, I’d love to check it out!
I looked at the various SQL classes available, and they look like wastes of money to me. SQL is text based and there are a billion free tutorials for the basics. If you want to learn, books are the way. There are some video tutorials and stuff online, but I went through some of them and its very cumbersome to go back and forth between the video and the tools. With SQL and with any programming thing, you need to actually DO everything you expect to learn. Luckily for you, you have not only grest real world data, but also some knowledge of what you need to do, usually, with that data. I know you don’t like to learn from books, but the only thing you’re going to get from a class or a set of videos is someone reading a book to you instead of you reading a book. There is no advantage to that, from what I can see, especially since the bulk of the training has them doing the examples for you and then you copy pasting them with THEIR data. This sucks, and is a horrible way to learn. Do the books, trust me. Even if its harder, you’ll learn better.
When I was a little kid, Mike Tyson was THE MAN. He was all people talked about for months at a time. He was a demigod on the playground, and each and every one of us kids wanted to be like him. I grew up in Las Vegas, and Tyson would train, on the street, just running down Flamingo road by the old Church’s chicken. If you were lucky, you could spot him. When I saw him, it was night time, and I was with my father, and I rolled down the window and screamed at the top of my lungs, “YOU CAN DO IT MIKE!” which sounds ridiculous, but coming from the mouth of a 7 year old it was probably the best I could do. Mike pumped his fists over and over and yelled back “YOU CAN DO IT TOO, KID!” and it was such an amazing and inspiring moment that it really did change my little life. He has his problems, and has been through some pretty nasty stuff, but to me Mike will always be the guy who is on top of the world that can still take a stupid comment from a kid, really take it to heart, and give all that love and positivity right back even when he didn’t have to do any of that. Mike Tyson will always be a conflicted hero, but a hero nonetheless, and to me he’ll always be the champ. I love that guy.
This is a special blog post for my lovely daughter Ellie, she is in 3rd grade and is writing a research paper.
<Ellie> ”Do I have to read this WHOLE THING???”
<Daddy> “Nope, all you really need is the summary, this is all pretty easy! However, if you read the whole thing it will make more sense and you will write a better paper.”
“What am i trying to prove? What are three things that prove what I want to prove? How can I show the reader that my proof proves what I want to prove?”
That is all you really need to answer, for yourself. Answer those questions in your mind, and write the results into your word processor on the computer, and you’ll have a pretty good paper. If you want a little more guidance, check out the extended version below :
I am writing a paper, how do I start? :
1. First you must answer the question : What am I trying to say? – this will be the subject (in writing it is called a thesis) of your paper, or your hypothesis, just like the scientific method.
You ALWAYS start your paper with explaining what you are trying to say, in this case we might say “Nevada is a nice place to live.” This should be a simple statement that you believe to be true. It should answer the requirements of the assignment as much as possible. If the teacher asks you to write a paper on ice cream being delicious, don’t write your paper about potato chips! Think deeply about the subject, and decide how you can best answer the question. For all of these examples, we will be using the assignment “What is it like to live in Nevada?”
Once you have decided on the subject of your paper, and the statement you’ll make to answer the subject in the best way, you will write it out in a sentence. For your grade level (grades 1-5) the majority of your papers will be answerable in one sentence.
You may think, “Only one sentence? Sure, I can do that, I’ll just write one sentence!” But, it won’t be that easy. Readers are not often foolish, and teachers are almost never foolish, especially when grading papers, so you need to convince your reader that your sentence is true. You’re going to use something called sourced evidence.
2. Next, we figure out : How can I prove that what I am saying is true? – this part of your paper will support your thesis using sources, probably from the Internet or a library.
You will want to think of three main arguments that support your thesis. These can all be fairly broad. In our example of Nevada being a nice place to live, we might go out and read some things on the Internet about Nevada. You can read the Wikipedia page, the Las Vegas Convention Authority, some books about Nevada, or anything you’d like. A big part of writing a paper is knowing what you are talking about. How can you convince anyone that Nevada is a nice place to live unless you know it to be true? If you haven’t done any research on your thesis, do it now. If you have already learned about your thesis, you might come up with some claims like the below :
* Nevada is a nice place to live because there are a lot of things to do.
* Nevada is a nice place to live because it does not cost a lot to live here (the cost of living is low.)
* Nevada is a nice place to live because there are many opportunities to experience natural beauty.
Typically, you will only need three claims. But, this really only results in a few sentences, not enough for a whole paper! This is where your sources will come in!
Find three facts for each of the three claims you’ve made. We’ll use our first fact to show an example of how you might do so.
We want to show that there are a lot of things to do in Nevada. You can start with the Las vegas Strip. This one doesn’t really need a source. You can talk about the things you have experienced, like the Bellagio fountains, and say how much fun they are. You may also want to talk about other things you can do in Las Vegas, but you want to show that the facts you’re citing aren’t just your opinion, but established facts! For this, you’ll need references. For our example here, we’ll use my webpage and after we say “Another great thing to do in Nevada is go to Madame Toussaud’s wax museum!”*1 and put a little number(Just like the one you see there after the quotes. There are ways to make them look cool in word processors like Open Office, I can show you how.) next to your claim. Then, at the bottom of your paper, you add a bibliography, which tells your reader where they can get the information that you got. In this case, the bibliography entry for this item would look like this :
You would create a reference using *2 for your next claim, if it isn’t just your opinion, and make another line in your bibliography at the end. When you get older, you’ll do this in a more formal way, because there are rules that you need to follow for formatting, but in your grade group, you don’t need to be too formal.
You should write three facts for each of your three claims. So, nine sentences total, in three paragraphs (one for each claim.)
3. Finally, at the end of the paper, you’ll quickly recap your thesis, and come up with a conclusion. For your papers at your grade level, you will mostly just say your thesis again, and tell the reader again that it is true, and remind them that you have included lots of sourced facts to prove your point. This will be enough to convince them and give you a good grade.
I would also like to include a reminder about language. You are writing a research paper, not having a conversation with your friends. Don’t use conversational English. You want to write your paper with a very proper and professional tone. You aren’t supposed to be friendly to your reader, like I am being for you in this cheat sheet. You want to leave out slang words, silly phrases, and things like “I bet you didn’t know that!” or other phrases that aren’t important to your point. You want to make sure that every sentence is important and factual. If you need to know how to write, use examples from your sources. Your sources used will almost always be encyclopedias, books and websites at your age, and all of them write in a non-passionate and professional way. It will be hard at first, and it is OK if you don’t get it right, but you should always strive to write like the people on Wikipedia, they do a very good job.
Always remember that your father loves you, and if you ever need help, Daddy is always there to help you with your schoolwork or anything else in life. You’re the best, I’m really proud of you, and I can’t wait to see your first paper after you’ve read this. I think if you learn how to write papers the right way, you’ll really have an advantage throughout your whole school career.
Someone asked this question of me online, and I thought more people might like to know from an American’s perspective how things work with respect to the Japanese specifically.
In simple Japanese they will often use two character sets called Katakana and Hiragana which are basically analogous to our alphabet, but with vowels, so, there will be characters for “Ha, He, Hu, Hey, Ho OR ka, ke, ku, key, ko…etc (sounds like)” for most consonants with some missions consonants like L and some added combinations like sh, which is why some Japanese people have difficulty with their Ls and it sounds more like R when they’re speaking.
Children write with these, and most simple things like safety instructions are written like that for ease of understanding. Upon further study and growing older people will learn more and more Kanji, and a good part of most testing in school is learning your Kanji. Kanji are the complicated and numerous pictograms you see, and wonder, how can anyone learn a picture for every word? The answer is, its very difficult and takes years of study.
If you use language with no Kanji you may be seen as simple, so people do often use them in casual writing out of habit, or not wanting to appear stupid.
On the computer, the katakana and hiragana will be automatically translated from their romanji (roman languages) phonetics, or even to Kanji, by the PC, and as you “sound out the word” different possibilities will appear on your screen for you to choose from, at least on English language operating systems I’m using.
Interestingly, many Japanese people spend 6+ years in school learning English, so they can read and write quite well, and even understand you if you modify your pronunciation to be more Kata/Hiragana-esque.
For example : instead of Ham Sandwich, you would say hah-moh, san – do – wi – chu. Or, Macdonalds is mah-koo-doh-nah-roo-do (I made the spelling more like it sounds than the proper representations of katakana and hiragana) so you can speak to almost anyone in Japan and while you may not carry on an in depth conversation, as a tourist you can really get your point across without worrying about the language barrier.